For years, my friend regarded her counsellor as something like a best friend. During therapy sessions, she confided in the woman over her first job, work promotions, her marriage and other family woes.
Then over time, my friend found the monthly sessions a chore to attend and she felt that the advice given by the counsellor was repetitive.
Even when it seemed clear that their sessions were not working out, my friend was riddled with guilt at the prospect of switching counsellors, considering the years of trust built up between them.
“She has known me for years … and has seen me at my best and worst. I don’t even know how to end things before switching,” she lamented to me.
As we chatted over dinner, I felt like I was talking my friend through a breakup or divorce as she went through the stages of grief and contemplation.
Starting out with a counsellor usually involves sharing your life story. For my friend, the prospect of doing this again was daunting, let alone finding a new therapist who suited her.
My friend’s hesitation was understandable – after all, it’s not easy to cut off someone who knows so much about you.
For people who use these services, when should you consider changing your therapist? And if you do, how can you make the process as easy as possible?
IS IT TIME TO MOVE ON?
Ms Priscilla Shin, principal psychotherapist at Range Counselling Services, said: “Sometimes the fit with a counsellor can change over time, even if things started out really well.”
Certain signs could indicate it is time to consider switching therapists. They include feeling like there is no progress, that the sessions are not as helpful or relevant, and that the goals you hope to achieve through therapy have changed.
“You might notice that you’re holding back or feeling less comfortable sharing, even if it wasn’t that way before,” Ms Shin added.
“Overall, therapy should feel like it’s moving you forward and if it doesn’t, it might be a good idea to check with your counsellor about it or explore other options.”
Dr Karen Pooh, a clinical psychologist at Alliance Counselling, said that another reason to switch therapists is to find another professional to address an underlying issue uncovered during the course of therapy.
“For instance, many of my clients start attending therapy due to stressors in their present circumstances.
“As they delve into matters during therapy, they may realise that it is connected to deeper issues such as adverse childhood experiences and may then choose a treatment that addresses that.”
-2.jpg?itok=dQeiGCso "Work It – I need to fire my friend, how should I do it?")
