OWNERSHIP OF ONE’S OWN ACADEMIC ASPIRATIONS
I was made to pay for my own tertiary studies. After I finished my O-Levels, my mum got me a gig teaching tuition to my younger cousins so I had money to pay for my own tutor.
In my second year of junior college, the money wasn’t enough – so my dad offered to loan me the money that I needed for economics tuition on condition that I paid him back later.
Going to university on my own dime ensured that I did not skip lectures or tutorials, since doing so would have been at my own expense.
On the other hand, my husband’s parents paid for all his private tutors and school fees up until he completed his diploma. He admits to not taking his lessons seriously back then – but when he decided to pursue an advanced diploma later on and paid for it himself, he became the most studious he’d ever been in his life.
I took my studies seriously because I was the one paying for it. My husband only started taking his studies seriously once the financial responsibility for them fell to him alone.
However, even after 10 years of co-parenting, we still have different views on whether we will foot the bill if our kids tell us they want to go to university.
What we do agree on is this: If our children are made to bear at least some financial responsibility for their own higher education fees, then they will likely be less inclined to waste their university years.
COMMUNICATE EXPECTATIONS EARLY
Even for parents who genuinely wish to support their children’s higher education, their financial situations may not always allow them to.
Regardless of whether parents plan to commit to funding their kids’ tertiary education endeavours, it’s important to communicate such expectations early and clearly. If necessary, discuss alternative funding options as a family, such as scholarships or part-time work, so that the child can plan and prepare accordingly instead of getting ambushed by a new stack of stresses.
Deferring one’s studies by a year or two could also be an option. One of my university classmates worked as a flight stewardess before entering university to ensure she could support herself while schooling.
Each family will have different needs, preferences and dynamics – but each one needs to have honest discussions to establish mutual understanding and clarity about financial realities and shared responsibilities to avoid creating tensions that could escalate into harsher conflicts, or even legal battles.
