STUDYING THE SANTA LIE
What about the effects of the Santa lie, in particular? A couple of fascinating studies have quizzed children about when they found out about Santa.
In 1994, psychologists interviewed 52 children who no longer believed in Father Christmas. On average, those children discovered he did not exist at age seven.
They reported a wide range of feelings in response. Around half felt sad, disappointed, or tricked. Three out of five said they felt happy. Notably, none of these reactions were very intense.
Thirty years later, a similar study interviewed 48 children aged six to 15. This time, the average age of discovery was eight.
Again, nearly half the children reported negative emotions, such as sadness or anger. Similar numbers said they were happy.
These interviews revealed a little more about the positive emotions. The researchers found that the children’s happiness mostly came from relief that they’d still get toys, or satisfaction in being proved right that Santa doesn’t exist.
There seems to be no solid evidence that believing in Santa is important for enjoying Christmas, developing a child’s imagination, or improving critical thinking.
And those benefits can still be given to children without deception. The argument for telling the Santa lie based on its purported good consequences is weak.
OPTING OUT OF THE LIE
Even parents who don’t want to pretend that Santa is real may worry about what will happen if they tell the truth. Will their kid tell other children and ruin it for them? Will other parents be annoyed?
In a multicultural society, this is not a new problem – after all, children from different faiths can rub along together at school without anyone getting upset. Some families celebrate Eid, others celebrate Christmas (and others both or neither).
Just as the atheist’s child can say: “We don’t believe in God in our house,” your kid can say: “We don’t do Santa at our house.”
I believe that telling your child that Santa really exists is unethical. It’s manipulative, breaches their trust and may cause worry and upset for benefits that can be provided without lying.
Still, it’s worth keeping all this in perspective. There are worse parenting choices. Most children get over the truth quickly and their trust in their parents isn’t shattered.
If you have the choice, consider having a magical Christmas where everyone knows Santa is make-believe. But if you’re already knee deep in fibs, don’t worry – just work out how to break the news gently.
Joseph Millum is a senior lecturer of philosophy at the University of St Andrews, in the United Kingdom. This commentary first appeared on The Conversation.
