When her travel companion dropped out of a trip due to personal reasons at the last minute, then 21-year-old Krissten Tan faced the prospect of travelling to Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam all by herself.
The idea greatly intimidated her. Ms Tan had never travelled alone before, had never gone to Vietnam, and her parents had repeatedly warned her about crime there by showing her various news articles.
Despite her nagging doubts, she decided to take the plunge and proceed with her trip. At the time, she realised that she was merely fearing the unknown and decided that life was not about playing it safe.
As the saying goes: A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
Ms Tan, now 24 and a final-year undergraduate, said: “In the first few days (of that trip), my heart was pounding everywhere I went.
“But the more I walked around on my own, the more I realised that it wasn’t as scary as I thought.”
The six-day trip proved to be a formative experience for her as she entered adulthood. It taught her profound life experiences about being an independent problem solver, navigating logistical challenges confidently, and keeping an open mind when meeting new people with diverse backgrounds.
Since that trip, she has travelled solo to eight countries, including a one-month trip across four European countries, as well as another volunteering trip to Uttaradit, a rural province in the lower northern region of Thailand.
Hearing the experience of Ms Tan, who is my university senior, reminded me of how my generation tends to be plagued by anxiety and insecurity and thus become risk-averse, but there are also young people like her who dare to venture, face failure and come out better for it.
Yet, as a 22-year-old undergraduate, I couldn’t help but wonder how many times I’ve deprived myself of a learning opportunity because I feared stepping out of my comfort zone.
At a point in life when I should be boldly trying out new things in order to grow as a person, I questioned why I continued to hesitate, allowing fear to dictate my choices instead of embracing the unknown and its potential for growth.
It was why three months ago, I accepted an internship at CNA TODAY knowing that it would thrust me into an environment where I had to face my fears.
Although it is a short stint, being on the job meant that I had to speak to strangers, pen articles under tight deadlines, all while making my fair share of rookie mistakes in the process. The experience has moulded me into a better person.
As American political activist Eleanor Roosevelt, the wife of former United States President Franklin D Roosevelt, once said: “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
Growth often requires stepping beyond what is familiar, easy or safe. To find out how one may learn to live with discomfort, I sought the advice of mental health experts.
WHY IT’S GOOD TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE
The first thing the experts told me was that because human beings naturally seek predictability and safety, some people equate discomfort to a form of failure.
Dr Sam Roberts, founder and director of private practice Olive Branch Psychology and Counselling Services, said that when people expose themselves to new experiences, however, they can build resilience and flexibility.
This is known as neuroplasticity. Psychotherapist Lee Kai Xuan said that this is what allows the brain to change and adapt.
When exposed to learning experiences, for example, the brain’s neural networks can change, reorganise and grow as a result.
Mr Lee, founder of The Midnight Therapist that provides therapy services, added: “Learning new skills or handling unfamiliar situations strengthens neural pathways, promoting brain plasticity.
“Staying in the comfort zone prevents these new connections from forming, making adaptability harder over time.”
Part of this is explained by our body’s chemistry. When we are in unfamiliar situations, our brains’ fight-and-flight response is activated, releasing stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol.
These chemicals cause a feeling of dread, anxiety or hypervigilance, and is usually accompanied by a rapid heart rate.
Over time, though, our body learns to regulate these chemicals, Mr Lee said.
“The prefrontal cortex in our brains attempts to regulate these emotions, analysing risks and making decisions. Over time, exposure to discomfort strengthens this regulation, making it easier to handle future challenges,” he explained.
