Rainie Ang always knew she wanted to be a mother. She just never expected her motherhood journey to start so traumatically.
Married at the age of 31, Ang took two years to conceive, undergoing fertility tests, using ovulation kits and taking Traditional Chinese Medicine. In September 2024, she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
“I was overjoyed. I spent my days in hospital cuddling with him and watching him having hiccups,” she smiled.
These tender beginnings were abruptly hijacked.
After discharge, Ang quickly fell into a babycare and breastmilk-pumping routine. Unable to fall back to sleep, she clocked one to two hours of shuteye each night.
Then, on the sixth day after giving birth, her world started to unravel.
“I felt like I was living outside of reality, in another dimension. It was as if this world that I’m living in is not real,” she told CNA Women.
Once a happy-go-lucky person, she suddenly struggled to even make the most basic decisions, such as what time to bathe and how to have her confinement meals.
“I was having fishball beehoon and was given a fork-spoon, and chopsticks. I couldn’t even make a decision on which one to use. I felt very confused,” she said.
She asked her best friend – also a mum – if she had experienced anything similar. She hadn’t. She told her mother-in-law about it and was advised to get more rest. But Ang simply couldn’t. “No matter how tired I was, I couldn’t sleep at all,” she said.
In this disoriented state, she continued her babycare routine the next day.
“I had zero supply of breast milk, but I had been educated that breast milk is better for the baby. So I was pumping every three hours. That afternoon, I pumped for 30 minutes and set a pretty high intensity because I wanted to try my best to produce something,” she recalled.
