More often than not, people may have a hard time accepting changes to their looks and body as they age.
“Getting older can lead to complicated feelings,” Ms Radhika said, “whether that means dealing with ageing and not looking as youthful anymore or not meeting your expectations of where you want to be in life.”
3. HAVING AN UNFULFILLED ‘CHECKLIST’
For generations of young people brought up on western culture and mass media, where making a “bucket list” is seen as fun and book publishers are telling us to travel and visit 1,000 places before we die, it is no wonder we become victims of our own doing when the checkboxes on such lists are not ticked.
There are also the more traditional “milestones” we are supposed to hit from the time we become working adults to the time we retire.
“Society tends to place milestones on specific ages — like hitting career goals, getting married, having children or reaching financial stability, which can all make us feel like we’re falling behind if we haven’t achieved them yet,” Ms Shin said.
Ms Radhika said that transiting from one phase of life to another can be hard as well.
And turning 30 is “one of those big ones because it’s often seen as a transition from youth to full adulthood”, Ms Shin added.
Therefore, birthdays may trigger negative self-reflection because they are an emotional spotlight that highlights any insecurities or unresolved feelings that one has.
For example, we might feel like we are supposed to celebrate growth and success, but if we sense that something is missing, those moody feelings can surface.
Instead of celebrating, self-reflection can turn into a moment of dwelling on what is not going right, making it feel more negative than positive.
4. AVERSE TO ATTENTION
For other people who may be more introverted, a birthday celebration can make them anxious because they do not like to be the centre of attention or be fussed over by others.
The thought of not having the capacity or energy to socialise can provoke anxiety.
For people who have social anxiety, it can be daunting when others make a big deal out of the birthday.
5. UNDERLYING MENTAL CONDITIONS OR PAST TRAUMA
Although one may feel moody, nervous or sad around the birthday period, it is also important to note that birthday depression or birthday blues is not the same as clinical depression.
“Typical birthday blues are often temporary, with feelings of sadness or anxiety peaking around the birthday and fading shortly after, and these emotions might include mild to moderate sadness, anxiety or disappointment, often brought on by reflecting on life milestones or unmet expectations,” Ms Shin said.
Most people can still function normally and return to their usual routines, and it does not disrupt daily life.
Ms Shin said that serious depression — birthday-related or not — often disrupts daily life, which can affect a person’s ability to work, socialise or even take care of themselves.
This might manifest as physical symptoms such as sleep disruption or changes in appetite and energy levels.
She added that there is often a stronger sense of isolation, with a tendency to withdraw not just around the birthday but on a more ongoing basis.
Feelings of depression that surface during birthdays and do not go away can be an indicator that there is something else going on in your life — a past trauma, unresolved emotions or longstanding problems — that you may need to work through with a counsellor or therapist. In such cases, you should seek professional help.
