I tell him that he’s running his own race, at his own pace. He’s already done the work, so whatever will be, will be. Although he understands this, he finds it hard to stop comparing himself to others.
“It’s all everyone is talking about, mum,” he said. But he tries, and when I tell him not to worry about how everyone’s doing, he feels relieved.
REMEMBERING THE BIG PICTURE
“Options are always good to have”, is what I was always told as a child, and what I tell my children now.
And yet, is it worth it?
Nine-hour school days are already exhausting. So, maybe, just maybe, it’s simply enough for him to sit the PSLE and see where his results take him.
After all, secondary school is merely a stepping stone to taking the O-Level exam, which will be replaced by the Singapore-Cambridge Secondary Education Certificate (SEC) exam starting from 2027. Passing the exam will then pave the way to tertiary education.
His PSLE results will determine which secondary school he attends, not whether he gets to attend one at all. And wherever he goes, he’ll still sit his SEC exam in Secondary 4.
We’ve been conditioned to aim as high as we can for so long that I’ve taken it as the norm. But at what cost?
Burning our 12-year-olds out with endless tuition classes. Getting them to study late into the night after a long day of school. Stressing them out over being a few marks short of their target grade, harping on how it’s such a waste and how they must do better at the next practice.
Learning is a lifelong journey, and the PSLE is just the first major milestone of many. And at 12, there are so many other aspects of our child’s life we should celebrate.
And a good life is more than just landing a cushy job that pays a high salary. Family, health, happiness, hobbies and friends – being able to enjoy all these is part of a good life, too.
It’s something we adults often realise in hindsight, but too easily forget in our pursuit of perfect exam scores for our children.
