TUITION, BUT AT WHAT COST?
My husband and I are not tiger parents. We have never pressured our children to score AL1 in primary school, nor have we insisted that they must get into top secondary schools. However, we know friends whose children are performing well academically but still attend tuition to ensure they can enter prestigious schools.
There are times when I wonder if my husband and I are too lax with our children. If we do not push them to their maximum potential, are we failing as parents? With even more drilling, more practices, more work, perhaps my younger daughter could have joined her sister in the integrated programme at their secondary school. But then I ask myself, at what cost?
My elder girl once told me about a classmate in primary school who broke down after scoring 95 out of 100 on a test. Her classmate said she would get a swipe of the cane from her parents for every mark she lost. It saddened me deeply when I heard about it.
I do not wish for my children to live under such pressure and fear – they only have one childhood. When my children are grown, I hope they look back at their childhood with fondness, remembering it as a time filled with love, where they had the freedom to play and pursue their interests, rather than one overshadowed by stress and tuition.
If your child is already doing well in school, there isn’t a need to succumb to peer pressure and enrol them in tuition. However, if they need extra help and you can’t provide it anymore, then tuition may be an option. Ultimately, we want our kids to know that they don’t need to struggle on their own, and that we are there to find a solution.
As parents, we often find ourselves walking a tightrope between pushing our children to achieve their best and allowing them the freedom to enjoy their childhood. The journey through Singapore’s education system has its challenges, but it’s also a time for growth, learning and bonding.
With or without tuition, what truly matters is the support, love, and encouragement we give our children. It shouldn’t just be about the grades they achieve, but the resilient, confident, and compassionate individuals we want them to become.
Vivian Teo is a freelance writer, children’s book author and owner of a parenting and lifestyle blog.