NOPE, NOT ME
I thrived on deadlines. The adrenaline of juggling multiple projects and meetings was thrilling. I was excited to make meaningful contributions.
A senior colleague once warned that I might “burn out in a way that’s not recoverable”. I brushed it off. How could I ever get burnout? I was sleeping well and taking regular breaks.
Like many, I assumed burnout only struck those who did not have as much resilience to cope, or worked under extreme conditions. I thought as long as I had enough rest, I’d be fine.
Ironically, days before my breakdown, I attended a mental wellness talk at work. The speaker laid out the idea that burnout is not a sudden event, but a slow and gradual process that unfolds progressively over five phases, just like an increasingly burnt piece of toast.
It starts with the honeymoon phase, where the thrill of something new masks underlying stress. Then comes the balancing act phase, when fatigue creeps in and one becomes easily distracted. The chronic symptoms phase sets in next, marked by constant exhaustion, irritability and even regular physical illness. In the crisis phase, pessimism, cynicism and obsessive work-related frustrations dominate. Finally, in the enmeshment phase, burnout is the default setting, often accompanied by anxiety or depression.
As she spoke, I felt a cold recognition – I experienced them all.
Yet, I remained in denial.
