SINGAPORE: By the time I turned 18, I had the timeline of my love life mapped out: Relationship by 24, marriage by 26, and my first kid by 28.
Now, still single at 25, I feel ready for a relationship, even marriage, but I just haven’t met “The One”.
I’m not alone – many young singles in Singapore are holding out for “the right person”, according to a study by the National Youth Council and the Institute of Policy Studies released in August 2024.
Are we all single because we believe in finding The One? Or is it the very concept of The One itself that’s keeping this person out of our reach?
But where did we get this concept to begin with?
CLASSIC ALPHA MALES
My first introduction to love and relationships came through romance novels featuring alpha male heroes: Powerful, stoic, impossibly wealthy, and Greek-god handsome.
Edward Cullen from Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series was my initiation into this archetype.
I was captivated by his fierce protectiveness and emotional unavailability – an intoxicating mix for a girl of 11 just beginning to develop a fascination with romance. Meyer topped it all off with his dazzling good looks (pun intended). I bought into the fantasy, naively equating his intensity with depth.
The “strong, silent male” has long captured the imaginations of readers, from Heathcliff in Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights and Mr Rochester in Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre. These brooding romantic leads paved the way for their modern counterparts: Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey, Damon Salvatore in The Vampire Diaries, and so on.
Their overt masculinity, emotional detachment and obsessive control positioned them as protectors – but not without cost.
