THE NEED TO BE SEEN AND HEARD
Ever experienced a period in your life where it seemed like all your friends were getting married, buying housing or having babies, and you found yourself having an unexpectedly emotional reaction?
It’s called “wedding contagion”, a phenomenon that reveals how the act of being observed changes how people behave, wrote Stephen Bush for the Financial Times. It manifests in the form of an emotional margin call: Suddenly, we feel prompted to re-evaluate our own paths and journeys.
In anthropology, the term “social rituals” describes symbolic, performative activities or actions that publicly affirm identity, belonging and transitions. Think weddings, graduation ceremonies, even National Day parades. They’re milestones that help us signal identity, life stage and emotional intent.
These rituals offer a kind of cultural shorthand. When you’re promoted, people ask about salary or key performance indicators. When you’re engaged, everyone squeals, hugs, congratulates, maybe asks to see the ring.
The ritual of the proposal delivers a form of shared, social clarity – a way to be understood across social lines.
In a time of fragmented norms and constant change, that legibility still matters.
It makes sense that in a world where everyone is watching (online, offline, and in the haze of social comparison), we create public rituals to both process our private choices as well as prove them to others – both things that can be done on our own terms.
