This also means learning to forgive each other’s shortcomings and repairing disagreements that may arise, said Mundae.
To shift the focus from negative thoughts to positive ones, consider setting constructive joint goals. For example, start a new hobby together or work on a shared project, like refreshing a space in the house.
Doing this strengthens the bond between husband and wife as you both find joy in new shared experiences, said Mundae.
Remember to celebrate both small wins and significant milestones together, from individual achievements to shared successes, said Dr Chow.
GETTING PROFESSIONAL HELP
There is no shame in asking for professional help, whether it is individual therapy or couples counselling.
Individual therapy would be a starting point to unpack and address the emotions and thoughts experienced, said Dr Chow. It is not uncommon for wives to be involved in their partner’s individual therapy journey, especially if they want to better understand how to support their husbands.
Couples counselling, on the other hand, can help if the changes experienced are affecting the relationship as it provides a safe space for both parties to express their needs and work towards solutions, said Mundae. “It can improve communication, align values and foster mutual growth.”
Mundae added that it is also beneficial to reframe “midlife crisis” into “midlife transition”, which shifts the focus towards personal growth and adaptation.
Ultimately, what makes something “bad” for us is if it does more harm than good in the long run. But if we choose to focus on the positive, like a re-evaluation of our personal values and priorities, re-invention of ourselves for the vision we have and a greater appreciation for what matters the most in our life – our loved ones – then a midlife crisis might not seem that “bad” after all, said Dr Chow.
