The construction worker with me earned just S$400 a month. Not missing a beat, he took out some cash from his wallet and bought me some food.
Smiling, he pointed at the food and said: “Eat. It’s nice.”
Despite having little, he gave freely. Despite a sparse living, he insisted on making the most of his circumstances.
Somehow, that one encounter taught me about a better approach towards joy than all the months I’d spent soul-searching.
Financially, I had so much more than him. But I was constantly thinking from a place of lack and having a never-ending hunger for more.
Yes, I might never have a lot of money, but my physical poverty was never as severe as the poverty of my own heart.
If I’d stepped back, I would’ve seen that the reason I felt so poor was because I validated the reasons I should feel poor.
I compared myself to friends who were better off, instead of what I needed to take care of myself. I compared my job to the more lucrative or prestigious ones my peers had, instead of my own passions and skills.
I gave nothing to no one – including myself – because I thought I had nothing.
No one ever told me, “You should try to be richer. Why don’t you earn more money?” It was always in my own head.
I now see that joy isn’t really something I can buy or find by chance – it’s something I have to fight for. I’m learning to fight against my natural instincts to compare myself to others or to arbitrary standards.
And in this fight, I’m now better prepared to make sure that my greatest opponent isn’t myself.
John Lim is the owner of content agency Media Lede and the author of Take Heart: Thriving in the Emotional Wilderness. He regularly writes at liveyoungandwell.com.
If you have an experience to share or know someone who wishes to contribute to this series, write to voices [at] mediacorp.com.sg with your full name, address and phone number.
