FROM COMPLAINERS TO PROBLEM-SOLVERS
Lately, this is the strategy I’ve been trying to work with, both for my kids’ benefit and mine.
I listen to their complaints with as much patience as I can muster. I ask questions for them to figure out exactly what they’re unhappy about – is it really the amount of homework, for instance, or is it a particular topic they’re struggling with in mathematics?
Then, I prompt them to take ownership or action: “What do you think will improve the situation? How can you be part of a change for the better?”
They’re usually very eager in the first half of this process, airing out all their gripes with great detail and gusto.
Once we get to the second half, they have to pause and think hard about what they’re able and willing to do.
My sons, aged 12 and 10, abhor cleaning up their room. Each evening, the scene is positively criminal. Books and study materials are strewn everywhere, often spilling out to the living room. Pillows dot the floor from hours spent doing homework and reading. Boxes of half-sorted Pokemon cards occupy every inch of walking space. School bags and pencil cases are emptied out (personally, I’ve given up understanding this habit of theirs).
It’s a nightly whine-fest whenever it’s time to pack up and prepare for bed.
“Ugh, I hate cleaning up.”
“This will take forever!”
“Can we just do this tomorrow?”
