WHAT WAS LI LIN’S REACTION WHEN SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT SAGE GETTING INTO STANFORD?
I think she’s happy as long as the kids are happy, and she’s happy with whatever the kids want. I haven’t talked to [Li Lin] directly but I know she’s definitely very happy and proud of Sage, as I am too.
I think everyone thought Sage had a good chance of getting into the very best universities, not just in the US but in the world. When you tell anyone you go to Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, Yale or MIT everyone is like “Wow these are the top five schools”.
WHAT IS IT LIKE CO-PARENTING TEENAGERS?
It [can be] challenging. When you have children you are able to impart [things to], and teach to be independent, to be self-motivated and hardworking, it’s easier. My kids are very independent, they know what they need to do to get the job done and they aren’t easily distracted.
My son is focused on his school work and with running and exercise too. A lot of it comes down to parents who establish the right values and set a good example for them.
So parenting teenagers, it’s not hard. I honestly don’t spend as much time with them as I wish I could, but that’s also because they are so busy themselves with their own friends, school work and college applications. Of course [they also have] their own sources of entertainment. They have a lot more options now as compared to when all they knew was us. I think it comes down to the relationship each respective parent has with their children, and that is established much, much earlier on. [We have to understand] that each child is different and bring out the best in them without being too forceful.
Sometimes I wish they were more sticky and more needy but they are very thoughtful, considerate and positive. I couldn’t ask for more in that respect.
HOW DID YOU INSTILL THESE QUALITIES IN THEM?
I think the first 10 years of a child’s life are by far the most formative and the most crucial in establishing the trajectory they are going to take. The greatest teachers a child will ever have are parents. What are you going to do with the time you have with them? Are you going to let them sit and watch YouTube or play with their iPad all day or are you going read a book with them, take them out to exercise and to learn and explore new things? That’s up to the parent. You could spend money and let them go for enrichment classes and have [someone else] teach them to ride a bike or swim, but I rather be hands-on.
In my line of work, I was very blessed because sometimes I only work maybe two or three months a year. The rest of the time I had, I spent with Sage and Jonas. Whether it was me taking them to the track at 1pm, or to the swimming pool.
I think Sage and Jonas would say that I definitely pushed them athletically. Even though everyone calls me the “Singapore-based Tiger Dad”, I’m nowhere near your stereotypical Tiger Dad.
I asked Sage and Jonas if they see me as one and they’re like, “No you’re not”.
For me, it was about trying to set a good example. Be it when I’m working, or working out to stay in shape, or trying to spend time with [them]. I lead by example.
Athletics has always been the huge foundation of who I am, and I see that in them too. Athletics teaches children so much more than just sports. That’s something a lot of parents fail to realise. They’re so focused on their kids doing academics, taking enrichment classes and doing well in exams. I think athletics helps them with understanding teamwork, disappointment, and improvements. It makes them more resilient and a lot more disciplined not just in sports, but who they are when they try to find their own dreams and achieve their own goals.
It’s our job as parents to let them find their passion and let them use it to drive themselves. That’s what I think is very, very important.
