My oldest child is 12, but I’m not giving him a smartphone anytime soon. Here’s why

A SMARTPHONE IS A POWERFUL PRIVILEGE, NOT A RIGHT

My kids often ask: “So, when then, Mum?”

I cannot keep them away from smartphones forever; nor do I intend to. It’s impractical and illogical.

All the same, smartphones are immensely powerful devices that connect us with any and all types of information, content or even people. 

Sure, a variety of parental controls are available to us, to ensure that devices are usable only for a fixed duration, or even to moderate device access to the internet or certain apps.

Yet, such controls aren’t infallible. I personally know children who’ve found ways to get around these things on their parents’ phones. 

And so, our answer is always the same: “When you’ve shown us that you’re able to moderate and manage your own screen habits, which we can see from how you now use the devices at home.” 

There’s always a bit of grumbling, but ultimately, our children know that we’ve been fair and true to our word so far.

We don’t shift the yardsticks, we’re completely open about the rationale behind our rules and we’re 100 per cent in this with them by working on our own healthy digital habits. 

For instance, to show my kids that I’m not chained to my smartphone, I willingly hand it over to them to respond to their messages or do their schoolwork whenever we’re out and about without my spare device within reach. 

As a family, we also maintain a “no phones” policy at all shared meals and outings – wholly applicable to Mum and Dad as well.