HE TING RU
The Workers’ Party’s (WP) Sengkang representative – who abstained from voting on the constitutional amendment – spoke of an encounter with a close childhood friend who had moved away from Singapore and only reconnected with her in their 20s.
“I remember sitting up late one night, chatting about the weather, about nothing in particular. I made a throwaway teasing comment about whether he would take girls to a particular spot to impress them,” she said.
“He suddenly grew quiet and paused for a long while, looking away. I could see that his mind was racing and he swallowed hard a few times.
“Finally, he looked at me and said, ‘You probably don’t know this, but I’m gay. I thought a long time about whether to tell you but decided to do so because I think you would be ok with that.’”
Ms He’s friend then shared how he felt compelled to tell “lie upon lie” to well-meaning relatives when he attended his sister’s wedding months ago.
“He felt like a total charlatan. But overriding this was his greatest fear that he did not want to bring shame upon his parents. I will never forget the fear and anguish and pain in his eyes.
“And I regret that this was not the first nor the last time I saw these emotions as someone came out to me about their sexual orientation all because they feared condemnation and disgust for who they were.”
