Conventional business wisdom dictates that investing in people is never a waste, even when they might come and go – because people are the most valuable assets of any company.
I’ve echoed those things. I even genuinely believe them.
But there’s another truth, too: that what isn’t a waste can still sometimes feel like one regardless.
It’s only human of us to feel something, especially after we’ve poured hours into someone – coaching, giving feedback, having conversations over coffee and bubble tea – only to have them resign right when they finally started getting it.
Maybe it is not quite bitterness but certainly, there is a sense of jadedness. The kind that makes you want to pull back with the next person, just a little.
Don’t get too attached. Don’t ask about their weekend or their interests. Don’t joke too much.
Here’s the catch: If you stop investing in your people earnestly and genuinely, you will slowly become the kind of manager you swore you’d never be. Transactional. Coldly efficient. Checked out.
And ironically, that’s exactly the kind of environment people want to leave.
So I will keep trying, even when the farewell Slack message reads like a LinkedIn boilerplate.
I will keep hoping that somewhere along the way, the time we spent together meant something. That, in between rushed deadlines and Monday check-ins, we managed to become more than just colleagues ticking boxes on a task list.
Maybe that’s the point – to make the workplace not just somewhere people pass through, but somewhere they feel seen, where they feel a real connection, even if briefly.
I love how Andy Bernard movingly puts it in the series finale of the American sitcom The Office: “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”
The real treasure, as they say, might just be the friends we made along the way.
Kelvin Kao is the co-owner of a creative agency and a cafe.
