If your dates are modest – meals at hawker centres, Netflix marathons at home, walks along the beach or in a public park – the costs may barely register.
But if you often dine at restaurants, attend concerts or go on hotel staycations, the sums can quickly add up.
In many Asian societies, men are traditionally expected to pay. Even in a society as modernised as Singapore’s, many people still hold this view.
A 2022 survey by investment platform Syfe and dating application Coffee Meets Bagel found that about 40 per cent of Singaporeans – men and women both – still believe men should pick up the bill on a first date.
Among respondents aged 35 and above, this proportion goes up to more than 50 per cent.
Without discussing their stance on finance, some couples find themselves arguing about “who paid last”. Some may also feel that their arrangement is unfair, especially if one person is consistently footing the bill.
HAVING THE MONEY TALK
For some people, paying for their partner is not about the money. It is a way of showing care and generosity. For others, it is about partnership and achieving a sense of balance.
One partner might think, “I’m paying because I love you.”
At the same time, the other might be quietly thinking, “I wish you would acknowledge that I’m capable of paying for myself.”
And these differences in values – what money signifies to each of us and what we feel it should be used for – can cause misunderstandings if left unspoken.
Some couples prefer to discuss it upfront and lay out expectations early on in their relationship, leaving less room for conflict and misunderstandings later, especially when it comes to deeper issues such as credit card debts, loans and heftier types of financial commitments.
