“I’M ACTUALLY QUITE CONTENTED”
The fear of death, and how the odds are seemingly stacked against him, still creeps in every now and then for Mr Afif.
It’s prompted him to start thinking about end-of-life practicalities.
“I did tell my mother that if my cancer worsens, and the doctor says there’s no way surgery can happen, I wanted to go to hospice because it’ll be easier on everyone,” he said.
“That way, the family can do their own things too. I just don’t want to disturb their peace.
“But to be honest … you don’t know when you’re going to die, it could take months or just a few days.”
With his mother quitting her job to care for him and his younger brother still studying, his father and younger sister are the breadwinners of the family, earning a total of around S$3,000 (US$2,200) a month.
To raise money for future hospital bills, medical treatment – including chemotherapy and radiotherapy – as well as general living expenses, Mr Afif set up a crowdfunding page in August.
As of Nov 21, he has raised about S$4,000 out of a S$35,000 goal.
Mr Afif meanwhile has busied himself by setting out to finish his film diploma course, which was put on a year-long hold so that he could focus on his cancer treatment.
He will resume studies in January and is due to graduate in April.
On the side, he’s also working on a film loosely based on his life, with the aim of raising awareness of the challenges faced by young cancer patients – and to give them hope.
But the priority remains family, and to spend as much time as he can with them. They recently holidayed together in Malacca and Kuala Lumpur.
“We’ve definitely grown closer,” said Mr Afif.
“Last time, before I got sick, we all used to be so busy and I would come home late so I wouldn’t really spend much time with them.
“But now we all talk more, and we sit down to have meals together. It’s nice.”
What clearly pains him most is the prospect of leaving his aging parents behind.
“I am quite worried about them, especially my dad, who is also sick,” said the eldest of three children, citing his father’s heart condition.
He went quiet for a few seconds, deep in thought.
“I told my younger brother and sister that if I were to go, they have to take care of Mama and Papa,” he said.
“My parents did so much for us, they worked hard, gave us food every day and a bed for us to sleep in.
“I want them to be looked after, even if I die first.”
His mother, who had been sitting nearby and using her phone, reached for a tissue.
Visibly overcome, she silently wiped the tears welling in her eyes and took a breath.
With his back to her, Mr Afif never saw any of that.
