Having close friends that we can rely on is good for our mental and emotional well-being. But as we get older, we realise that the number of friends we have starts to dwindle. It also becomes more difficult to make new friends.
As we move through different life stages, our priorities, responsibilities and circumstances change, leaving us with less time and energy to nurture friendships, said Sophie Leong, a somatic trauma-informed coach who helps people work through their past traumas and build resilience.
Clinical psychologist Dr Natalie Games of Alliance Counselling said a person’s social life peaks at age 25.
Referring to a 2016 study published in the Royal Society Open Science journal, she said: “The average 25-year-old woman contacts about 17.5 people per month, while a man contacts 19 people.”
After this age, a woman’s social circle starts getting smaller and this decline continues for the rest of her life until retirement, where it plateaus, Dr Games added.
What is preventing us from making new friends as we get older?
According to Leong, when you’re younger and have more time and fewer responsibilities, you’re more open and curious about meeting new people and experiencing new things.
In contrast, the older you has less time, more responsibilities and has set routines and habits. “This makes it harder to break out of our comfort zones to meet new people,” said Leong.
Added Dr Games: “There is a tendency for your casual circle to decrease as you focus more on certain relationships and invest time and energy in maintaining those relationships.
“Once people have made decisions and found the people they want to spend time with, they are less interested in socialising widely.”
But all is not lost. Here are some tips to help you enlarge your social circle:
