4. The mindset shift: Helping versus handholding
The best way to avoid being pulled into everyone’s problems is to shift from doing to teaching.
Instead of fixing things for people, help them build the skills to fix things themselves. That way, you are still supporting the team without ending up as the fixer for every issue.
Think of it as the corporate version of “teach a man to fish”, except in this case, the fish is an Excel formula or an email template.
Or better yet, adopt the mantra of Ron Swanson from the American sitcom Parks and Recreation: “Don’t teach a man to fish … feed yourself. He’s a grown man. And fishing’s not that hard.”
5. Learning this magic phrase: “What’s the priority?”
If your plate is full and someone tries to add another serving, a simple “Which of these should take priority?” is a great way to subtly remind them that you are not a bottomless pit of productivity.
This works especially well when the request is coming from higher-ups. It forces them to acknowledge the trade-offs instead of just assuming you will “figure it out.”
THE MANAGER’S ROLE
If you are in a leadership position, the real challenge is not just setting boundaries for yourself but ensuring that you are not perpetuating the very problem you are trying to avoid.
Are you disproportionately relying on the same few high performers?
Are workloads unevenly distributed?
If we don’t want our best people burning out, we have to stop treating competence and reliability like unlimited resources.
Even the best workers will eventually hit a point where they are running on fumes. Or worse, start faking incompetence just to get some breathing room.
SO WHERE DO WE LAND?
Setting boundaries at work is not about refusing to help. It is about helping in a way that is sustainable.
It is about knowing when to say “yes”, when to say “no” and when to redirect.
And if you are in a position to delegate, it is about making sure that workloads are distributed fairly, so that your employees don’t end up feeling penalised for being good at their job.
And if you are someone who is constantly picking up extra work because you care, just remember: Carrying the team is admirable, but carrying the team at the expense of yourself?
That is just bad management, whether it is coming from your boss or from yourself.
At the end of the day, no one is handing out trophies for “most overworked employee”.
So protect your time. Help when you want to, not just because you can.
And the next time someone slides extra work your way, just smile and let them know your plate is already full – and you are not looking for seconds.
