Their chat sessions also ended when Wong lost her speech. “Using the analogy of a library, for dementia, it’s as if over time, one book after another disappears from memory,” Wong said.
Medical issues such as digestive problems, severe constipation and infection also became more frequent, and Wong was hospitalised almost monthly.
“The phone was always beside me, and when the helper called me, I would try my best to tell her what to do, what medication to give and when to send my mother-in-law to the hospital,” said Tan.
“When the helper lacked rest and had a headache, I’d take over,” said Tan. “I didn’t have much social life because I had to be at the hospital most of the time.”
On Dec 4, 2024, Wong made her final trip to the hospital. She was diagnosed with pneumonia. Doctors warned that she had likely come to the end of her journey. One by one, her children and grandchildren visited.
Tan also said her final farewells. “Whenever I had quiet moments with her, I thanked her for the privilege to develop a connection with her during this caregiving journey.”
Her mother-in-law died 10 days later. Though Tan was at the hospital then, she did not go up to the ward, opting to give her husband and Wong’s children more time with her in her final moments.
“Being there in her final moments was not so important to me. When she was living, I had already shown her care and love, and I knew she felt it,” said Tan.
But whenever she hears The Moon Represents My Heart, Tan remembers their bittersweet journey together.
“I won’t say it’s a sad thing. It brings memories of the good moments I had with her,” she said wistfully.
