For my entire childhood and then teenhood, most hair salons just did not know how to handle textured hair like mine.
I never really got over one particular memory of a hairstylist calling me “Hagrid”, the beastly giant from the Harry Potter series with unruly hair.
As a result of all the bullying and snide comments I received, I grew up feeling ashamed of my hair. From such a young age, it was easy for me to believe every hurtful comment.
My hair is not beautiful, I thought.
In hindsight, it was a difficult experience for someone so young and impressionable.
It deeply affected my self-esteem and shaped the way I saw myself.
Whenever I looked in the mirror, I’d think that the only way I could feel confident was if I had sleek, straight hair just like everyone else.
RECLAIMING MY NATURAL CURLS
By the time I turned 12, I’d had enough. I convinced my mother to let me get my hair rebonded.
To my relief, she did not stop me. What I didn’t know was that this decision would lead to years of obsessing over my hair.
Once I started trudging to the hair salon for my regular hair rebonding treatment, I kept up with it all the way till my late 20s.
For 18 years, I had straight hair.
I felt more put together, like I finally fit into the mould of what was considered to be “beautiful”.
However, keeping my hair straight turned out to be its own ordeal.
In between rebonding appointments, whenever the regrowth became visible, I pulled and pushed my hair with a hot iron straightener. Every time my natural curls fought through, I basically tortured them back into straightness.
I hated rain with a vengeance. Every drop of water would ruin all my effort, restoring my hair to its “factory settings”, to quote one of the world’s biggest pop stars, American singer-songwriter Taylor Swift.
